Love stories of the Miao

Who are the Miao?

As an ethnic group, the Miao mostly reside in the mountainous areas of southern and southwestern China. They are also named Hmong. The Miao are well known for their extraordinary handmade arts and crafts like embroidery, brocade, batik, and unique silver jewelry.

During holidays, the Miao would like to get together singing and dancing to express their happiness. While young people would use holidays to look for their mates.

Flirting

If a man shows interest in a girl, he will follow her and may suddenly give her finger a gentle pinch. The girl will smile in agreement if she likes the man, or just simply ignore him if she disagrees.

Some men can find an excuse like “asking for candy” to play with girls.” He will stop a girl and beg some candy, and if she have no interest for him, she will answer, “my candy is all eaten up, you can go to some other people to ask.” But if the girl likes the man, she would suggest, “ now follow me.” Then she leaves. The man now goes together with her to the woods or riverside to hold a talk.

Dating

When going on a date, Miao lovers have their own signs to indicate the place and time to meet. The one who comes first will use some grass to form a knot and give a particular sign leading the other to the meeting place.

Each peculiar sign has a meaning. A bee braided by couch grass signifies: I am now waiting here, will you come or not? A dragonfly made out of a vanilla plant means: we will meet at the same place, please come soon! A grasshopper signifies: please forgive me, I can’t come to see you now. Grass interweaved with a white flower suggests: we are finished as you have been always breaking our dates.

When another one reaches there, she/will use the same bundle of grass to make a second knot meaning “don’t bother us”.

After seeing each other for a few times, the couple will give to each other some of their personal things as a token. The man gives his waistband or tobacco pipe to the girl, while the girl gives the man her silver rings,  hair pin,  or a pair of embroidered shoes.

Marriage

When a Miao couple decides to get married, they will tell their parents, who then ask a matchmaker to fix the wedding date.

Sometimes an interesting thing will happen if the parents don’t agree. The man together with other people will come to the girl’s home at night to ” rob” her and take her to his home. After three days, an old honorable man sent by the man’s family come to meet the girl’s parents, and tries to let them give up their opposition.

On their wedding day, people burn a big fire at the gate of the man’s home to wish the couple will have a happy marriage life. In the evening, a choir with both families will sing songs for many hours until daybreak.

The songs tell how the couple met and fell in love, the basic information of their parents, grandparents, and great-grand parents. They will also tell how their ancestors moved around China throughout history.

The bride and groom can’t sleep, because they have to constantly serve their guests with sweet rice wine, while the songs last the whole night.

In some Miao areas, married women are not allowed to go back to their parents’ home until they have a child.

I’m C. Liu and I really love and respect Miao culture. I even have a website with some of the most beautiful examples of Miao silver jewelry available here. Miao silver really is the best kind of jewelry you can get: such pure silver is very hard to find in local markets, and their craftsmanship is unmatched.

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